


The Nothing [subject to change]

by Primaryexampleofadisaster



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders Angst, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders-centric, Ducking Out, Off-brand hurt/comfort, Probably a little OOC, also no romance because romance is dumb and I don get the obsession with it, at this point my thoughts are just roman angst, ducking out not explicitly stated, idk what else so let me know, just all of my writing has roman angst, none of them are written unsympathetic but they may be seen that way, um tagging is hard, you'd think it'd be easier because its all just Roman angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-09
Updated: 2020-10-09
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:54:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 546
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26909971
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Primaryexampleofadisaster/pseuds/Primaryexampleofadisaster
Summary: It's another Roman-centric post-POF fic.Summaries are hard...
Relationships: No Romantic Relationship(s)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 21





	The Nothing [subject to change]

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! Before you read, in case you didn't read the tags:
> 
> This talks about ducking out (in vague, non-specific terms). While I tried not to make it seem too much that way, some parts may resemble suicidal ideation
> 
> Other than that, enjoy!

After, Roman described it to himself as "the nothing," because there was no good word for it. Existing but just barely, a tiny sliver of thought and feeling all that remained. Not nearly enough to be consequential. To be noticed.

Before, the defenses around his world had finally crumbled. A world that he had carefully crafted to fit all of Patton and Logan's standards. A world he had fought tooth and nail to uphold. A worldview based on black and white thinking. It had collapsed, falling inwards just like Roman.

Before, Roman had been tortured at night by his past actions. He clung to any hint that it would be okay, any hope that the situation would be solved.

Before, Roman had lost his trust in the one person he always trusted. He had looked to Patton for as long as he could remember as the source for what Roman should do, who he should be. He had spent years trying so hard to be exactly what was expected of him. A perfect creativity. Roman had failed at that challenge, with outbursts and insults defining him. But Patton was supposed to know what to do. But he didn't. And Roman had followed his example until there was nowhere left to go.

Before, Roman had been trying so hard. But when events unfolded, he had retreated to his room. He had hoped for it to fix itself, because it was just one thing too many.

After, he thought about how the world had just slipped into the nothing, and time had become meaningless. Just as meaningless as everything else felt.

Before, Roman had wondered if they would ever notice he was gone. If they didn't, they would never enter his room. He would never be called back into the mindscape. He wondered if he would miss anything substantial. He wondered if his presence was substantial enough to be missed. After all, there was another Creativity.

Before, Roman had tried so, so hard. He had worked until he couldn't anymore, at which point he would distract himself. He refused to let the thoughts win. But nightly Disney marathons can only take one so far.

Before, Roman had been stewing with anger at Patton. He focused on the anger and betrayal rather than his true feelings. It had been a betrayal, even if it was only because Roman was too dumb to realize things on his own.

After, the others had grown concerned over Thomas's increasingly disturbing ideas and lack of concern for self-image. In fact, a lack of a self-image altogether. They gave it a day. Perhaps a day too many.

After, when they entered his room, finding a shakily written diary none of them were brave enough to read, he failed to appear. For a while. Then a while longer. But then he did. Flickering into existence.

After, he had cried uncontrollably, both from relief, and from the turbulence inside him. The others were perhaps too afraid to ask. But they did. And Roman told them, leaving the smallest parts out. Or maybe the biggest. 

After, he had changed. They all had, really. Or maybe they hadn't really at all, but simply adjusted the best they could. 

And so it went on. 

And so it got better.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! 
> 
> Let me know what you thought and/or a better title in the comments.
> 
> Also, let me know if I forgot any tags or any of my tags are innaccurate.


End file.
